Models: Attract Women Through Honesty

My notes

The book is written in a neat and succinct way which I love. It's not too long, not too short. It covers everything you would want to know about interpersonal situations.

Takeaway directives:

High status paradox

When men wants to seduce a woman he faces a paradox. Hight status man would make himself appear low status by pursuing a woman. But at the same time by not pursuing her, he would never get her.

The problem with PUA is that it works only in theory. In practice, the lines you use are just words, and status is conveyed mostly by behavior towards them, towards others, but mostly towards yourself. Most of this is subconscious and non-verbal.

How attractive a men is is inverse-proportional to how needy he is. The more needy the less attractive, the less needy the more attractive.

The neediness is defined as being more invested in other people's perceptions of you than your perception of yourself.

If every girl you date is crazy and unstable, that probably means you are crazy and unstable.

A confident woman who doesn't define herself by the man she dates Is not going to have time for a man who spends his time trying to impress her.

Solution — become vulnerable

Vulnerability is when you tell a joke that may not be funny. Asserting to opinions that may offend others. Joining the table of people you don't know. Telling a woman you like her and want to date her.

A man who is able to make himself vulnerable is saying it to the world "I don't care what you think of me, this is who I am, and I refuse to be anyone else" he is saying he is not needy and high status.

It's OK to be rejected, it's OK to say something stupid, it's OK to make mistakes. Women will not dislike you for doing something stupid. They will like you for your ability of being OK with mistakes. As you make yourself vulnerable, you will experience rejections. And as you experience rejections you will be forced to upgrade your sense of self worth. Slowly but surely you will chisel "I don't give a fuck" attitude. But this can only be done by constantly exposing your emotions and thoughts to the world.

Setting boundaries

You have to set boundaries, other people can not pass. If they do, you have to be angry on them. Setting boundaries can be attractive to women. It shows the power. ^cde029

When women insult you, you should tell her that. Not try to change the topic.

You must tell women what you are going to accept and what not.

If women is playing some game, doing some kind of games, testing you etc. You should tell her that if she isn't excited in you, then she may save both of us time and not showing up.

Men who is needy will keep his boundaries loose and open, inviting manipulation and other people to walk over them. This is because they are more than willing to alter themselves in order to receive validation from the women they meet. Men who are not needy establish strict boundaries because they value their own time and happiness more than women attention.

Women can be in either unreceptive, neutral, or receptive state

The rate of girls that are immediately receptive is proportional to: quality of your lifestyle, social status, and how you look.

The percentage of women you make from neutral to perceptive is proportional to your "game" skills.

You can't be attractive and life-changing to some women without being a joke and embarrassment to others. You have to be polarized. You have to have your own opinions, and say them. You have to be controversial.

Being a good player is to be able to open yourself emotionally, become vulnerable, expose to embarrassments and passions.

It's okay that most of the women won't be attracted to you. What is important is that the ones you should care about will be.

Big number

Out of 1000 random women in your city, 250 will be physically attractive, then, only 125 will be available, then only 50 will be interested in going on a date with you, especially if you presented well, polarized, and were frank about intentions. That is 5%.

Success is defined by how fast we can sort through women that don't work for us. Not our ability to get every single one we see. Yet, they don't show up as your postman. You have to find them. Treat them like a treasure. The process of finding them is the treasure hunt—which can become really fun.

The only truth about you is what you decide about yourself. And the more truth you know about yourself, the more you'll be unaffected by others' reactions to you and the more attractive you'll become.

There will be lots of disappointments, failures, like in business. Most of the time it's just luck, but it should not discourage you. If you treat each interaction with women as a lottery ticket with a win probability of 5%, then the only chance of winning is to try more tickets.

Most rejection circumstances are out of your control. So don't take it personally. Press the "Try Again" button.

The difference between being good with women and being bad with women is often only the difference between 8% and 1%. Either way, you are still falling over 90% of the time, so get used to it.

To get things faster, you have to be true, polarize as fast as possible, look if she fits our values and needs.

Don't care if she likes you if she rejects you. Think "I wonder what she's like?". Instead of thinking "I hope she'll like me," think, "I wonder if we'll have an adventure together?". The goal is not to make her like you, the goal is to make her polarized. Either she falls in love with you or throws a drink in your face... you've succeeded. You've found the truth. Your curiosity is fulfilled and you can now decide whether you should move on or not.

Be honest with living, actions, and communicating

We can show our truth and display lack of neediness by:

Being honest with our actions is about doing what you want to do despite anxiety and fear. You want to do something--you do it.

Honest actions is the most important because merely by the number of women you approach you increase the chance of finding one that would want to date.

Most of the guys fall into one of two categories: anxious or socially disconnected.

Anxious guys

Anxious guys are very good at communicating, and are very aware of social norms and what others are thinking/feeling. Anxious guys are TOO aware of what other people are thinking and feeling and therefore have a lot of social anxiety. Generally once these guys meet a girl they do fine. But it's the actual pro active and making a move that scares him to death. These guys usually spend most of the time focusing on overcoming fear and little on expression.

Your goal should be to socially connected AND and fearless at the same time AND have an awesome and attractive lifestyle.

Specify what do you want values do you want from women. Find where are women with these values. High energy, fun, friends — go to bars and night-clubs, but if you value intelligence and education — go to educational events or self-help seminars, openness — mediation and yoga classes, traveling — travel groups, ambition — toastmasters, political organizations, emphaty — volunteering, charities.

Age

When it comes to age, men's physical attractiveness peaks at age 31, whereas for women it's 21, and then it recedes far slower than women's do.

45-year-old man is considered as physically attractive as the average 18-year-old male.

Look

Women judge men far less based on physical dimensions and far more on style, grooming, and how they present.

Money

Money demonstrates success, intelligence and being smart. The matter of money/success depends on your age — the older you are the more money you are expected to have. The same with success. The other finding is that the less well off she is, the more important money will be to her.

Women perceive men with money the same way we perceive women with good looks: as social status.

A girl seeking for social status is a girl that lacks it, therefore she wants to increase her by identifying with you.

Even the most interesting and well-rounded and psychologically healthy women are still going to prefer a good-looking and successful man to one who isn't.

Money, looks and success are all indicators of status. Women are attracted to status. Behaviour is also an indicator of status. The more money/look/status you have, the less attractive behaviour you need. The less money/look/status you have, the more attractive behaviour you need.

Social Proof

Seek that social status, become a celebrity in your demographic. Put yourself into as big of a leadership position as possible. Don't just join organization, start it! Don't just become volunteer at a charity, help find sponsors for it.

Part of living the honest lifestyle is to pursue what you're passionate about to the fullest extend. Don't just pursue your interests, become a leader in your interests.

High-status women don't like lack of confidence, lack of respect, and lack of authenticity.

Hot girls

Hot girls struggle with different problems that really can be daunting. Every man want to impress them, everyone act like an idiot, everyone evaluate you based on your look not your personality. Threat them as normal so they will too.

The best way to connect to hot girl is to connect geniuently and emotionally as soon as possible. Find something you like about her other than her look, and relate that to her honestly.

Tell the beautiful girl that she is smart, and tell the smart girls that they are beautiful.

Instead of rating girls from zero to ten, rate them as interesting or not-interesting. This will prevent putting them on a pedestal.

Hot guys

Men judge the physical attractiveness of women based on physical dimensions and their body, women judge men's physical attractiveness based on their clothes, grooming, and body language.

Having opinion on everything

Attractive men make their opinions known. They have had unique experiences and ideas. They have tried things most people haven’t tried, read the best books ever, and watched the best movies ever.

Having opinion in everything makes you cooler then half the guys out there.

Make an opinion about everything. Don’t say “it’s cool”, or “I don’t like it”. Express your feelings, your emotions, your ideas, your reflections.

Assume everything can be [[You can not appreciate what you do not understand|appreciate]], it’s your job to find it. People who are prejudice against a genre of music or type of movie for o other reason than they don’t like the culture, are stupid. Watch classics, find the roots. Watch The Godfather, Casablanca. Read what critics say, and base your opinions on that.

Honest Action

Life shrinks and expands in proportion to one's courage. The braver you are, the longer you live.

You should not bitch out for being pussy and not opening every girl. But you should know that the more girls you approach the less anxiety you will have.

Don't judge girls you don't know, stop the inner conversation that tells you how she is, before knowing her. She may have some baggage of old beliefs that she doesn't believe now.

Inner voice

Everyone has some kind of internal conversation. The ego is telling you how to protect the status quo. Your emotional interia. It won't tell you to leave your comfort zone. You have to use your will to do it. Everyone has different stories in their head. You may be telling yourself that you are in too much of a hurry, too busy to stop and say hello to a girl on the street. Maybe you tell yourself that only extraverts are capable of approaching girls on cold. Or that you have to have a perfect opener, new hard cut, new clothes, lose weight, etc. There will be always something, there won't be a perfect time.

To stop the inner voice you have to identify it.

What are your stories? You have to identify them. This is the only way to fight with them.

What you say isn't important, how you approach isn't so important. What's important is that you push things forward without hesitation. Without that resistance, you are obeying right now by doing nothing.

It's your job to find the beauty in any person

Challenge yourself to find the good and beautiful things inside of everyone. It's there. It's your job to find it. Not their job to show you. ^bc1021

Like with appreciate, first you have to understand, before you appreciate.

Reflect and learn from mistakes

You can't control how cute girl react to you, but you control how you react to it. You can either react as a victim or you can learn from it and move on. Answer the following self-improvement questionare:

How to take action

“Courage is not the absence of fear, rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear” Ambrose Redmoon

Rejecting is as uncomfortable for women as for men. If your friend ask you to hang out but you don't want to, rejecting him is not pleasent. Girls feels the same with men approaching them.

They don’t do it so that they can revel in rejecting a bunch of guys. They are just as lonely and frustrated as we are. They want to meet a guy. But not just a guy, a great guy. A guy who is confident, charming, fun, and interesting. A guy who isn’t needy, who is vulnerable, and who will honestly express himself to her. She wants you to be that guy. She is secretly rooting for you. She doesn’t want to reject you.

That’s why women are willing to overlook a lot of bonehead moves and mistakes we make if they like us. She is your biggest fan, she will give you second and third chance. They are begging for you to succeed. They want it just as bad as you do. They want you to be that unbelievably attractive man, that man who makes time stop for them and can make them feel things they’ve never felt before. They want you to be that. They want you to make her spin and fall and laugh and forget where she was or who she was with. That’s what she goes out every night looking for: the man who can make her feel more alive.

Overcoming anxiety

The fear doesn’t go away

The fear never go away. And it should not. It is part of you, so rejecting it is rejecting yourself. The goal is to accept it and work with it. Moreover, you should show it to everyone as, hiding it means hiding yourself.

Studies show that people perform better under certain amount of anxiety.

The level of anxiety does not matter if you are confident in your abilities.

Whether anxiety empowers or overwhelms you depends on your self-confidence

If self-confidence > anxiety then you are empowered.

if anxiety > self-confidence, then you are overwhelmed.

People with anger issues are encouraged to channel their anger through productive means — exercising, working, writing letters displaying their feelings.

In Buddhism there’s a saying that, “what you resist will persist.“ The proper way to approach your fear and your anxiety is to accept it, recognise that it’s normal and a part of who you are, and to not even try to hide it from the girl.

If you can have a conversation with anyone, then you are capable of picking up a woman. There’s nothing to learn, only things to do.

Start with asking for time, then for directions, then ask “how is your day going?”, you can ask clerks and cashiers hire their day is going, they have to be nice after all. Do this until you’re able to approach women by telling them you think they’re attractive and asking them out in a date. You’ll be surprised how quickly you can get comfortable doing it. After some time you will be hooked to the adrenaline rush and actually enjoy the butterflies you get when you approach a new woman. This will make you approach more and more girls. You need to build momentum, which is absolutely integral to developing a healthy and successful love life.

Creepiness

Women don't hear your voice, they hear your intentions.

[[There is no such thing as a man who is good with women who isn't also creepy all of the time]].

[[Creepiness]] is defined as behaving in a way that threatens a woman's sexuality and causes her to feel insecure.

Courage and boldness

Courage is when you feel fear but act out. It's not courage if you don't feel fear. Courage is a form of discipline. It's taking certain actions even though you feel like doing something else. Courage is build like a muscle. The more courage you build the more capable you will be of bold actions. Bold actions require a lot of courage and destroy neediness.

But you must know you are disrupting social norms, otherwise you are just oblivious and out of touch, which is not attractive.

It is important that when you are doing something unusual that you communicate that it's is unusual.

The bolder your action, the greater attraction you’re going to create. The bolder the action the more vulnerability you show, and the more you polarise responses.

Honest communication

The honest vulnerability only holds weight when it’s communicated unconditionally — i.e. when you compliment a girl or express yourself, you’re not doing it with an ulterior motive, you’re simply expressing yourself.

Men communicate via facts, women via feelings, and intentions. That’s why it doesn’t really matter what are you talking about, they listen to your intentions.

Vulnerability is huge because you inspire them to trust you. Your one vulnerability for your two vulnerabilities. ^c4eec9

Sex can be viewed as the ultimate act of vulnerability for a woman. Therefore the more vulnerable you make yourself around her — by leading, by sharing your intentions, by being honest — the more she will trust you, and become vulnerable in return. Sex is a side-effect of that vulnerability.

Paradoxically the way to interact with women in a vulnerable way and therefore the way to combat creepiness is to accept that some women will find you creepy some of the time. Just as with rejection, the more you are willing to risk it, the less it will happen.

The more comfortable you are with women finding you creepy, and the more uninhibited and vulnerable your actions and words are around women, the less likely they will find you creepy.

The more reserved and closed up you are with your intentions the more you attempt to manipulate her and mislead her about what you want and who you are, the more likely you are to become creepy.

Flirting is the opposite of creepiness

Flirting is expressing your sexuality in a way that is fun and attractive to women. In a non-needy manner eliciting her to be more attracted to you.

Teasing breaks rapport verbally. Teases involve saying derogatory comments about someone in a funny or pleasing way. Family members and friends tease each other. And men and women tease each other when they're sexually interested in one another.

Teasing is useful because often you can stack a complement into it, and be able to display sexual interest without actually complimenting her. This allows showing interest in a non-needy way.

You should tease and flirt with all women — your friends and women not interested in. It adds a fun component and sparks more emotional excitement in any of your male relationships.

How to be charming

Clear communication enhance all areas of your life

The better our communication skills, the more clearly we can express ourselves and show sexual interest, the more likely we will be able to connect with women in a sexual and emotional way.

Clear communication enhance other areas of your life — professional relationships, family relationships, friendships, networking abilities — just as much as it enhances your romantic relationships and your ability to meet and attract women.

First impressions

It doesn't matter if you ask a girl how is her day going, or say the most witty thing ever. Her impression is going to be based on how you present yourself:

How to approach

Simply walk up, introduce yourself, and explain to her that you wanted to meet her. It may sound boring, but you are not there to entertain her, it's about showing non-neediness and genuine interest in her. You can prep by saying "Excuse me, this is kind of random...". But the best way is to just approach them with "Hi, my name is ...". It doesn't matter what you say, what matter is how you approach her.

The more creative opener, the more needy and creepy you become.

The intention is the most important thing. Don't approach her to impress anyone, for statistics, for a skill-set. Approach her because she is cute and you want to meet her. If she is hot, approach her with the intention to have sex. Don't overintelectualize, we are animals after all.

Conversation skills

Use statements over questions

Use [[Statements over questions]].

Creating threads of conversation through statements is far more powerful than questions.

Questions are a polite way of requesting information from someone. They create the frame that you desire something from her and she is obligated to fulfil your request. Statements make it so that you're constantly giving away information and value to the other person.

Saying "I love olives in my drink. When I was a kid I used to eat them straight out of the jar", is far more interesting than "Do you like olives in your drink?" The question is plain weird. The statement is interesting and "cute".

Questioning should be limited to minimum. Don't talk to women in the "interview" style of conversation. Instead, use cold-reading.

Cold-reading

Cold-reading is using your intuition to make statements about someone without actually knowing it.

Instead of asking her, tell her what your intuition is telling you. Whatever happens you win.

  1. If you are wrong, she'll correct you or ask you what made you think that.
  2. If you are right, she'll freak out at how preceptive you are.

Use cold-reading as much as possible. Anytime you want to know something from her cold-read first, then let her answer.

The side-effect of cold-reading is that she will start asking YOU questions. This may not seem like a big deal, but it actually reorients the entire interaction, in your favour. Subconsciously, theperson who is asking question is more interested in the other person. Moreover you have the power to control the conversation.

To talk with anyone and control the conversation for any length of time: ^2fccff

Storytelling

Human being, by default, are entrapped by stories, or more specifically, story-arc. There are three main points of a story arc:

  1. Set-up: Setting the scene or the context for what you're about to say.
  2. Content/Conflict: actual content. This is the "conflict" in your story. This is something that causes tension and expectancy. The content of your story needs to be intriguing and hook people into wanting to know what will happen next. If you don't build much tension with the content of your stories, you will find people losing interest or getting the feeling like you ramble on a lot.
  3. Resolution: The resolution releases the tension from the conflict or content. Resolutions can come in form of punchlines (for jokes), conclusions (for ideas), or just closure for a generic sotry. People who don't resolve their stories and ideas well will often get blank stares when they're finished speaking, or people asking them "Yeah, and...?" not realising that the story is finished.

Relating and connecting

Humor

In polls all over the world, when women are asked to rate the most attractive quality in a man, a strong sense of humor almost always wins out.

There's an old saying "if you can make a woman laugh then you can get her to laugh right into bed."

Your specific type of sense of humor isn't so important as much as that you have it.

Focus on what you find funny to you personally, and don't be afraid to share that with the women you meet. If they don't laught, then chances are it won't go anywhere.

Humor is the art of drawing connections between two seemingly unrelated ideas or objects. There are a number of ways to do this, but at it's core, humor is a creative activity, and therefore will greatly be tied to your ability to uninhibited express yourself.

Sometimes your jokes will fall flat. That's OK. Don't laught at yourself. Don't make fun of yourself. Never ever explain the joke. The worst thing you can do when you make a joke is to draw more attention to yourself. Just act as nothing happended and move on.

There are a few types of humor:

  1. Misdirection: Common and easiest. You begin to say something or tell a story which leads the listener to believe you're making one point, and then out of nowhere, you say something completely different. For instance, here's a famous line by Steve Martin "You know that look women get when they want to have sex?... Yeah, me neither."
  2. Exaggeration: is when you take a quality about something and blow it completely out of proportion, often in a creative or interesting way. For instance: "I've seen more attractive things in the bottom of an airport urinal". The more extreme and creative the better. The more specific and off the details, typically the more funny a joke is.
  3. Teasing: Teasing is supposed to be funny yet spicy. It should create a mixture of emotions in a girl: defensiveness yet happiness. The ideal reaction is when a girl will say, "Oh my god, I can't believe you said that", but will be laughing at the same time and smiling.
  4. Sarcasm, is when you make an extreme statement that's completely opposite of what you actually mean. You often say it with complete seriousness and without smiling, making a lot of people confused yet a few women fall in love.
  5. Wordplay, similar to misdirection in that the listener expects one type of meaning and gets another. Example, "Hurry a passenger is ill. We need to get to a hospital." "What is it?" "It is a building with lots of doctors. But we don't have time for that."
  6. Roleplaying and Games: For example fuck/marry/kill. You point to three random people in the room and you say, "Ok, out of those three people, who would you fuck, who would you marry and whom would you kill, and why?".

Beware of humour, it's not a cure-all for your problems with attracting and seducing women. ==If there were a cure-all it'd be physicality.== Ultimetly you aren't ever really attracting women unless you're connecting with them physically and emotionally.

The dating process

Texting

The cuter or harder you try to win girls over by text, the bigger chance you have of looking needy and desperate and losing them. Joke and tease her if she's being responsive. If she's not, stick to trying to get her out ASAP.

The perfect date

When to go on dates

The best time to start a date is between 6-9PM. The best days of the week for a date are: Thursday, Wednesday, Sunday, Tuesday, Monday, Friday, Saturday

Don't do lunch dates, and never make an afternoon date the first date if possible. Afternoon date = "let's be friends".

Where to go

Dates are designed to create as much mutual experience as possible.

Absolutely no movie dates, avoid dinner dates, women are self-conscious about eating in front of you. Also, you can avoid the awkward "who pays?" situtation. Pay unless she physically pulls out her wallet/credit card and stops you.

The best places are active, participatory, and allow for touching and flirting.

Include dancing if at all possible, as it's the most sensual date activity possible.

Also, if you two decide to drink, try to drink at the second or last venues/activities.

Make the dates as interavtive as possible, be able to touch her.

The underlaying concept to have on a date is that you need to constantly be leading.

Every discussion should be yours, create memories.

Remove, "What do you want to do now?" from your dating vocabulary.

It's the man's responsibility to take actions and make moves, and the woman's responsibility to give him signals.

What signals does girl makes:

Physicality and sex

Getting physical with women is the most important thing in seduction. If you have it, you will have a lot of opportunities.

The biggest trigger for arousal for women is being desired. And nothing says she's desired like a guy trying to kiss her.

You want her get familiar with your touch. She want to know that you like her and your body.

People who touch when they interact with another person are generally viewed aas more dominant. Businessmen are politicians touch with both hands.

Make touching a question and exclamation marks of the dialogie.

When you make a joke and she laught, you should put your hands on her arm to punctuate the emotion of the moment.

Give her high fives, twirl her like ballerina.

Push and pull her until you get to situation whe you can kiss her.

Kissing

Massage your lips with her.

How to know when to kiss her? If you think you can kiss her, you probably could ten minutes ago.

A lot of kissing revolves around how to use your hands and teeth as well.

Your hands should be roaming her body gently. Caressing her back, gently holding her heck, pulling her hips into yours.

As for teeth, gently love-nips on her bottom lip or her tongue turn a lot of girls on. Be sure to be sensitive with your teeth.

Escalating

If she makes an objection, just say "ok", and continue. The secret about "we are not having sex" is that they say that only when they are thinking having it. What's actually happening is that they want to have it, but aren't sure logically whether it's good idea, so they are telling you that they are not going to have sex to see if it changes the situation at all.

The ironic thing is that when you say "OK", and stop, then you are making her anxious, you are signaling her that it's not right, and she should not have sex with you. You have to signal her that it's completely ok.

If you acknowledge but continute, you are engaging her emotional and sensual desires (to have sex), while allaying any rational fears (by acknowledging them). Even though this is completely irrational, you are going to make her feel better, because now, she is able to relax, let go and enjoy the moment.

Continue unless she physically push you, take your hands off her, moves away if you, puts her clothes back on, or clearly and verbally says, “stop” or “no”, then stop.

If the resin is silly, she needs more time.

Escalating like this is a skill that every guy needs to learn to become successful with women. If there would be one skill that would make you more successful with girls, it would be aggressively escalating with women. It turns them on. Even when they say no, it turns them on.

Foreplay

The more foreplay the hotter your women's going to be, the better sex she's going to have. And the more likely she'll be to see you again.

A good place to start is by sucking and massaging her bare breasts. Some girls that like it roughter like it when you gently bite on her nipples. From there it should finger her or rub her clitoris, or even give her oral sex.

The most important thing is to be slow, create a drawn-out and sensual experience. Girls love to be teased, instead of shoving your finger inside her and going at it trying lightly touching her pussy with your fingertips for a few seconds. She will go crazy and want you inside her more than ever.

Sex

In sex, the most important thing is being dominant. More than anything else.

Conclusions

Women are attracted by perceiving a lack of neediness and secuirty in men.

Lack of neediness and a security comes from being more invested in oneself than in perception of others. That signals that you are dependable, confident and of high status.

To become less needy it require showing vulnerabilityin both emotions and actions.

Lack of neediness allows you to express yourself more clearly and directly, as a consequence you polarize the reactions of women, opening yourself up to more rejections, but also attracting other women more than ever.

The rate at which you attract women is proportional to your courage. The consistancy at which you seduce those women attracted happens through a process of expressing your sexuality.

Remember that we are going to die someday, everything will dissapear, and none of it will matter. So make the most of it while you're here.

Always ask yourself "what if it was a gift?" and then try to rationalise a way it could be so. In the world of emotions, there are no absolutes, you can usually draw whichever conclusions you desire. So why not choose to draw conclusions of blessing, positivity and gifts.